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Pet peeve: when people use “sleep with” as a synonym/euphemism for “have sex with”. Like, THOSE ARE TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS STOP TREATING THEM AS BASICALLY-INTERCHANGEABLE FFS.

I think a large part of why I find this so annoying is that I intensely crave sex, but am not so keen on sleeping with people. Like I imagine I am a very unpleasant person to sleep with (even within the set of people who would enjoy sex with me - I take forever to get to sleep, constantly have to shift positions, constantly have to cough, often have to get up to pee), which is bad for me as well, because I’d be constantly fretting over how much I’m probably bothering the other person, which is not exactly conducive to relaxing and getting to sleep.

And I’m sure there are also a lot of people for whom the reverse is true (i.e. they really crave someone they can sleep with non-sexually) and treating “have sex with” and “sleep with” as synonyms makes it needlessly inconvenient for such people (as well as people like me) to communicate their preferences.
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Hot take: friendship with benefits is simplified friendship, in much the same way that transhumanism is simplified humanism.

Of course “simplified” doesn’t always mean “better”. But I nonetheless suspect that, even without changing people’s preferences, there’d be a lot more people fucking their friends if people asked themselves “What reason do I have not to do this highly enjoyable thing with this person I get along with so well and have done so many other enjoyable things with?” instead of “What reason do I have to do so?”.

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January 2019

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